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Friday, 15 April 2011 |
Every day we are faced with our own inadequate speech that sometimes hurts ourselves and the people around us. Nonviolent Communication as taught by Marshall Rosenberg is one framework to use to craft a wiser way of speaking. The first step in this process is to reconize when our observations of something are being colored by our evaluation/judgment of that same thing. It's an interesting process to separate these two things out from each other.
Some of us remember the old TV series Dragnet where Joe Friday, the detective used to say, "just the facts, Mam, just the facts", when someone was telling him the whole story. That's a good reminder for parsing out the facts from the evaluations.
I'm not suggesting that you stop evaluation, but simply be aware of when it is coloring your observations. It will totally change how you relate to other people. Here is a list of things to think about as you separate out your opinions from the "facts".
1. Use of the verb "to be" often means you are evaluating. Ex: "You ARE too generous."
2. Use of verbs with evaluative connotations. Ex: " Doug procrastinates."
3. Implying your thoughts, feelings intentions or desires are the ONLY ones. EX: "If you don't eat balanced meals, your health will be imparied."
4. Failure to be specific about referents. EX: "Minorities don't take care of their property."
5. Use of words denoting ability without indicating that an evaluation is being made. EX: "Hank Smith is a poor soccer player."
6. Use of adverbs and adjectives in ways that do not signify an evaluation has been made. EX: "Jim is ugly."
7. Use of Exaggerations. EX: "You are always busy". " She is never there when she's needed." Avoid the use of the words, frequently seldom, always, never. This list is taken from the book, Nonviolent Communicatin: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.
This is simply something to think about. Consider the possibility that you can create more connection by being aware of your thinking and your speech.
Enjoy.... just play with it!
Charli
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Last Updated ( Friday, 15 April 2011 )
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Tuesday, 15 June 2010 |
These days I’m feeling a little helpless about the big oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. What can I do to help? As I thought about it, I realized that every little thing that I do to decrease the dependence on fossil fuels would help. Here are some things that I am doing.
Buying as much locally grown food and products as possible. I'm asking the grocery stores to tell me where the food is grown that I am buying. As more and more of us ask them, they will have to respond to the consumers. By buying food grown closer to us we cut down on the miles that it has to be brought and the gas that is used to bring it. Because it doesn’t travel so far, it tastes better.... it can be picked riper. Do you know that in Atlanta there are many organic farmer's markets? There are two, one on Wednesday and one on Saturday, in our little town of Decatur. Explore where you live to see if you can find food that is grown close to home.
I walk or ride my bike whenever I can. Our town is a totally friendly town as far as walking is concerned and becoming more and more friendly to cyclists.
I take reusable bags into the store. I keep them on the seat next to me so that I see them when I get out of the car. I keep accumulating more reusable bags, so, I’ve decided that I’m going to carry extra ones into the store, sometimes, to give to someone who doesn’t have one with them. I have seen the statistics about how much oil it saves to not use plastic bags and it’s astounding. Between 500 billion and a trillion plastic bags are consumed worldwide each year.
Cut down on plastic bottles for water. I take my own reusable bottle, either safe plastic or metal. There are all kinds to choose from... some of them very fashionable. This website is one place that you can explore alternatives. http://www.reusablebags.com/
I help my health as well as the environment by taking my lunch or picnics in reusable containers. My daughter has gone so far as to take a reusable container to the restaurant to take home left overs... now, we’re not all going to be that good, but, I hadn’t thought of it before she did it. You can carry your own silver wear and cloth napkins to use in place of disposables. Sometimes it’s a little cumbersome, but, things are getting more fun all the time. I would love to hear back from you what you have tried.
It might not seem like much, but, when millions of us change the way we do things it will make big changes.
Come and learn how to cook more at home and do things to take good care of you and your family. I'm teaching classes this summer. Check out the list on this site. Be well and take good care of yourselves.
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 15 June 2010 )
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Wednesday, 07 May 2008 |
I'm reprinting this article from a year ago. I'm very interested in hearing your comments.
A New Way of Looking at Money $$$$
Money is a strategy we use to meet our needs. When I offer individual sessions and classes, I meet a variety of my own needs, including making a contribution, creating meaning, having a connection, and personal growth. I intend to meet my need for support in my livelihood through my individual work & teaching. Hoping to meet these needs, I ask that each person contribute the most they can.
At the same time, I have a deep joy in and commitment to making my work available to all people regardless of their financial means. This meets my need for inclusion, hope, and concrete action toward bringing peace and change to our world. Hoping to meet these needs, I ask that each person contribute no more than they are able.
Money is a charged issue for most of us in this culture. In this context, I want to shift our relationships to money. One of my ways of doing this is to create a wide sliding-scale rather than the usual quite narrow sliding-scale for my individual sessions. I hope that you will see my sliding-scale as an opportunity to consider the variety of needs that exist within your relationship to money * your needs for sustainability, security, ease, comfort, and contribution, among others. I hope that you will consider those needs of yours along with mine which I described above, and arrive at an amount that reflects your financial reality grounded in your needs. Hoping to meet both your and my needs I ask that you contribute the most that you would like to.
I am excited about this approach as I have found that, over time, it contributes to meeting all of our needs for learning and for moving toward a society in which everyone's needs can be considered, and hopefully met.
I have set a sliding scale of $75-$150 for an hour session. If you have questions or comments about this please call or email me at:
404-377-1257
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 07 May 2008 )
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